i miss you.

im browsing through random friendster profiles at 4am,
unconsciously opening tabs of my high school friends.
people i knew on the first day of middle school, people i got close to the first few months, before i had my own clique.
memories came flooding back. like how we used to sit in a huge group in 1A, just talking and laughing. having nice clean fun.

and then there was our Laughing Society.
a group of us, wanting to set up our own website and everything, wanting to make it some big ass society.
i remembered being so pumped up with the idea, i had the layout planned and everything,
waking up early in the morning choosing web templates and stuff.

drifted apart.
come form 2, boys were involved. drama started.
and then there was our self formed Drama Club.
how we learned how to skip classes, how we made fun of Puan Salmi(our science teacher who's got some sleeping disorder) and made her cry cz our whole class boycotted art class.
and how our first drama turned out to be such a flop.
yet unknowingly made us understand and know each other better.

form 3 and 4, more boys,even more drama.
friendship wise, relationship wise.
how i started screwing up high school.
being some little delinquent, getting into the bad books of everyone possible.
got into trouble with almost every teacher in school.
how much i liked being a rebel.
i enjoyed pissing people off. i enjoyed hating people. i enjoyed thinking that the whole world was against me. i enjoyed knowing that my studies were a flop and my parents wanted to skin me alive.
but i knew one thing for sure in form 4, who my real friends were.
who were the ones who stood by me whether i needed them or not.
friends who would just pop by to ask me if i was doing alright.
friends who would stay with me on the phone even when they really didnt have to because they knew all i wanted was someone to rant to.
no names mentioned cz they know who they are (:

form 5 was fun.
if i had to describe form 5 in one word,
i'd say Euphoric.
i had a totally different group of friends.
the NPKs.
people whom i always thought were snobs.
im glad i remained in that class.
i'm glad i didnt bother taking up the offer to get into the first class like a couple of them did.
i'm glad i knew that something would turn out right that year and trusted my instincts.
im glad i opened up to them, first awkward and all,
but then realised how different yet similar we were.
every situation was handled lightly. there was no drama.
so much laughter and dirty jokes.
so many nicknames so little time. we only had a year together and made the most out of it.
we still pissed people off. teachers. other prefects. classmates.schoolmates.
we lied, we covered up for each other, we danced, we remained close even though we're, well no, I am in a different country altogether,
the occasional phone calls and updates through msn. how much our lives have changed,
but how we still are able to share the same jokes and relive the times we had (:
how we still find humour even when we're not there face to face,
each one of us still addressing each other by our nicknames like its the most natural thing in the world ;D

college.
well yes i surely have my own group of close friends.
but things are different somehow.
like if i had a major problem, i know i would still turn to my friends back home,
i know they'd understand. less explanations. sometimes none at all.

"I'm in a fucken mess what the fuck should i do?"
just straight to the point.
because they know me and cz i know they'll be brutally honest,
the funny thing, is that i don't get hurt.
thats what never fails to amaze me all the time.